Call Me Sponge Bob's Mum/Llamame Madre de Spong Bob

My daughter "Sponge Bob" is fluent in another language in Spanish which has now almost become her first language proud as I am for her I feel left out. When she comes up with jokes that when they are translated into English don't sound so funny has made me determined to work hard on my Spanish. Have also realised that some of the jokes involove a lot of rude words and am just loving that. Take for instance my favourite bookshop owner he says some incredible things that sometimes I have to write down and look up in the dictionary later. On my monthly prigrimage to the village market I popped into the bookshop with Sponge Bob and the proprietor started conversing with us wanting to know how we are surviving the cold up in the hill.

After such nice pleasantaries that wouldn't make a Pope blush he commented on how Sponge Bob was doing at school as he has bags of experience with teenager girls having two himself. As sponge bob is now into makeup he commented on this as nothing escapes him. Suddenly with a straight face he said watchout for the queue of boys coming to your house and they piss at the door. When Sponge Bob comes back from school will get the proper translation

This is Spongie

Boots & Muddy Fields

Country life especially if you are a foreigner is always full of drama. As much as this place is stupendous I have to say it don't I? All it takes is a bit of rain and we are stuck. Our clients are used to being picked up at the top of the hill and driven down by us down to the restaurant because the Muddy Fields that are normlly a nice "Camino" during the rest of the year become impassible in a small car.

Back to Boots & Muddy Fields. I get in the truck 4x4 to go pick the guests for lunch . Am dressed in Boots as one does as appearances matter when one is serving food. Round the bend I swerve and the truck gets stuck in the mud. Chef is in the kitchen waiting for the first table to arrive only they wont be arriving in time because I have to now abandon the car and leg it across the field to our neighbours' to seek help in my beautiful boots that have since lost their beauty.

Still it a pleasure being the "Morena of La Losilla" Thats what the locals call me "The dark one of La Losilla" For I am black.